baby

machogrande


Half man, half monkey. Roaming the world looking for chocolate


Recycling
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Dear Recycling Collection men,

When you collect the recycling from outside my house, and you have to carry the bin all of 4 feet to your big lorry, and you happen to drop a couple of small items out of it en-route… would it *really* be too much trouble for you to, I don’t know, maybe pick those items up and throw them in your lorry with the rest of the stuff?

Evidently it would.

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You never have a red shell when you need one
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Having a 7-month old baby kind of cramps your style when it comes to partying on New Years Eve, so this year we stayed in with a couple of bottles of wine and Mariokart on the Wii.

Then we spent the rest of the night dealing with a screaming baby and managed an entire 2 hours sleep.

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyo… zzzzzzzzzz…..

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Say it ain’t so
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. I’ve deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy.

But it’s not all bad, because it’s not as if he’s also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?

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Beaker
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Beaker sings Ode To Joy

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Citroen Xsara Bucket-o-shite
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Unbelievable! The hunk of junk, also known as, “The piece of shit that I drive” passed it’s MOT! Not only that but I finally had the door handle replaced - OK, so it’s bright blue and the rest of the car is a dirty grey but still. Being able to enter the car via the driver’s side door is incredibly novel!

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(no subject)
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Greatest ever throw-in.

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Holy shit, Man walks on fucking Moon!
baby
machogrande

Originally published at Joneeweb. Please leave any comments there.

Another classic from The Onion.

“Holy living fuck…. Are you fucking believing this? Over,” Armstrong radioed back to NASA headquarters nearly 250,000 miles away. “I abso-fucking-lutely am standing on the surface of the fucking moon. I am talking to you from the goddamned fucking moon. Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket.”

“Holy mother of fuck,” the first man on the moon added.


It's all my fault...
llama
machogrande


Some of you may have noticed I've sent you personalised copies of this already... :-)

Snow!
californication
machogrande
Can you believe we had snow last night! In October! This country is mad.

It took a good for moments to prise the iced-up car door open this morning, and there was a layer of ice an inch thick on the windscreen that just refused to be removed by my inept ice-scraper. Luckily I eventually managed to clear it with a pneumatic drill I borrowed from the workmen over the road. I now need a nice warming mug of hot chocolate... and a new windscreen. Or to be more exact, my sister needs a new windscreen as it is her car. I'm hoping this crazy weather will continue until Friday night then all the trick-or-treaters will stay home and I'll get to eat all the sweets myself.

Then I dropped Ollie off to the childminders and he screamed his head off. I has a sad.

New era
baby
machogrande
Claire started back at work today, which also meant it was Oliver's first day at the childminders.

Ollie woke screaming his head off at 4.30am, got him back to sleep but then couldn't get back to sleep ourselves, got up around 6, put the bottle steriliser on, boiled water up, put his morning bottle on to warm up, made Claire and I breakfast while she was getting ready upstairs, ate breakfast, realised I had forgotten to actually plug the bottle warmer in so it was still stone cold, plugged it in, ate my breakfast, went to get Ollie up, changed his nappy, made up his evening bottle and put it in the fridge, gave him his morning bottle, Claire came downstairs, ate her breakfast, then she got Ollie dressed while I went upstairs to get myself ready for work, I came down again, went outside to de-ice two cars, put the rubbish out, Claire and I then got Ollie's solid breakfast meal together, she went upstairs to dry her hair, her hairdryer then conked out, she headed off to work, I fed Ollie his solids, cleaned him up, cleaned myself up, got his coat on then got him and all the bags containing his stuff for the day into the car, dropped him off at the childminder, he cried, I felt bad, he smiled, I felt a bit better, came back home, got my scooter and headed off to work.

This is my life for the forseeable future. I think I must be on drugs.
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